So a fluffy family is in a farm field, mom & dad scared off by cows, they start to graze. Eat on of their foals, luckily enough not chewed up, cows don't chew too good. But only to be digested in its 4 stomachs.
Brilliant! Draw it!
Apologies to Ginger Fig for borrowing his artwork.
Apologies to Ginger Fig for borrowing his artwork.
Fluffy urine? Why not use their blood, it should stink less. Also I'm worried about ammonia from urine damaging my reservoir.
Just jam the whole fluffy in your tower. What could possibly go wrong?
If there was a show about all the varieties of fluffies in the world, would you rather have James Earl Jones or Morgan Freeman narrate it?
Neither - Keith David.
Goddammit Mungo, you had one job!
Mungo make big boo boo
Damn. It looks like the cooling fan for my processor is too heavy and it's bending downward. At least it looks to be that way. Maybe something involving fluffies can help.
Try pumping fluffy urine through the reservoir.
Every day is a battle between his wits, reality, and pets who are a constant reminder of the responsibilities/joys that come with life. A back and forth battle between serious depression and the childish happiness and innocence fluffies are. Sadly the battle is lost and fluffies are put through it the darkest moments and the 2 weeks after before the sheriff arrives to make it official.
lolwut
mungo
>be a smarty
>be the bestest smarty EVER
>you know you are, because you’re smarty
>you live in the Big Green with your herd of… of… well, a lot of fluffies.
>there’s plenty of wawa and grassies for everyone
>you dig under trees and bushes for protection
>humans sometimes come along and take your foals or hurt your herd but usually you can avoid
them
>because you’re smarty!
>you’re laying under a bush, enjoying a cool breeze and chewing on some flowers when one of
the mares comes running up to you, trying to catch her breath
>”smawty! smawty! *wheeze* *gasp* big… big…”
>”wut dummy mawe twyin to say?”
>”is big… big… *cough* *wheeze*”
>you bop her on the nose. her tears well up with saddy wawa but she finally responds
>”big hewd! big hewd comin! take fwuffy wand!”
>oh hell no. that’s not happening.
>you immediately spring into action… after finishing your flowers
>mmmm… yellow. *burp*
>you beging shouting orders… nurse mares take the soon-to-be-mumma mares and all the foals,
keep them in the back
>toughie friends, get in the front
>horned fluffies get behind them, then the wingie friends
>you climb up onto a huge rock (read: 1 foot high) and await the impending invaders
>o shit
>”whewe mungo?”
>the other fluffies look at each other quizzically
>”whewe mungo?” “nu see” “mungo gone?” “mungo sweepin?”
>one of the horned fluffies finally finds him sleeping under a big shrub
>”mungo! smawty fwen need yu!”
>he yawns and stumbles to his feet.
>”mungo tiwed. wan sweepies.”
>”nu sweepies! otha hewd comin! smawty need yu!”
>”uhnnnnn dun wan go…”
>the opposing herd finally arrives… you count one… two… three… four… um…
>more than four.
>”dis fwuffy wand! yu go way!”
>they have a smarty friend, too. a unicorn like you.
>”nu! dis is DIS HEWD wand! YU go way!”
>”we hewe fiwst!”
>”tough poopies! we hewe naow!”
>a little yellow filly with a pink mane pokes her head out from your group
>”ummm… can we awl wive hewe in peace?”
>the other fluffies all beat the holy hell out of her
>”yu go way!”
>”nu yu go way!”
>”NU YU!”
>”YUUUUUU!”
>you’re really pissed now. time for the heavy artillery.
>”MUNGO!”
>finally awake, mungo comes lumbering out of his shrub. the other herd looks over in alarm,
just seeing his huge hoof at first
>”WUT DAT!?”
>”dat mungo, an he comin fo yu!”
>mungo emerges from the shrub. half of the new herd promptly make bad poopies.
>”dat… dat nu fawe! dat nu fwuffy!”
>”dat mungo fwuffy! he BIGGEST fwuffy!”
>it’s true… you’ve never seen a fluffy so big. mungo is easily three times the size of the
biggest stallion
>he grunts and shambles to the front of your herd with you
>”mungo! giff big huwties!”
>”ummm ok… smawty…”
>the other smarty’s eyes open wide
>”uh… i tink hewd was wong… dis nu fwuffy pwace. we go fine new fwuffy pwace…”
>”NU! WONG SWEEPIES TO DA INVADAS! DEN WE TAKE YU MAWES AND EAT YU BABEHS!”
>one of the toughie friends whispers to you, “we weally eat babehs?”
>”nu, is jus ting smawty say to scawe dummy fwuffies.”
>”oh, ok”
>mungo lumbers forward, his tan fluff and bright red mane fluttering in the breeze
>”mungo giff BIGGEST huwties!”
>half of the new herd immediately run, screaming
>one of their toughie friends actually charges mungo, ramming into his leg
>with one step, mungo crushes his spine
>”WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHY HUWT FWUFFY! WEGGIES NU MOVE! WEGGIES!”
>it lays there, sobbing, trying to figure out why its rear legs won’t work
>”mungo, go get otha hewd!”
>mungo charges them, knocking stallions and mares out of the way
>half of them get broken bones or internal injuries from his freakish strength
>the rest follow their brethren, running off in random directions
>then mungo slipped in some mud
>”mungo? yu okay?”
>he struggles to stand in the slippery mud, his face covered in it. he can’t see.
>”mungo get bad hewd!”
>he turns and starts trotting… towards you. blinded. mungo is charging at your herd and he
can’t see
>oh poopies.
>”mungo giff BIGGEST HUWTIES!”
>”mungo NUUUUUUUUUUU!”
>it’s too late, he plows into your herd. two toughie friends have their necks broken. the
unicorns aim their heads forward, hoping to pierce mungo’s flesh with their horns
>he simply charges through them - actually over top of them - squashing three of them flat
>”mungo!”
>the wingie friends flutter their wings desperately, trying to get above mungo
>someone should have told them they can’t hover more than a few inches - whatever an inch is
>with their lighter frames, mungo shreds through the wingies - fluff and feathers flying in
every direction along with their heads and limbs
>”nu mungo! not mawes an babehs! NUUUUUUUUUUU!”
>still blinded, mungo plows into a very pregnant mare, causing her to explode. foals, blood
and fluff go flying in all directions - re-blinding the rampaging fluffy
>”aw poopies.”
>mungo continues thrashing and stomping, obliterating chirping and squealing foals and their
mothers
>”nuuuuuuuuuu! babeh haff wong sweepies!” “stawp huwt babehs! stawwwwwwwp!”
>”MUNGO! COME TO SMAWTY! NAOW!”
>finally, mungo ceases his thrashing and runs up to you
>”mungo, you dummy! yu attack WONG HEWD! yu… yu… SWOW DOWN!”
>mungo, in his excitement, is running full blast towards you
>all you can do is lower your head and close your eyes…
>*WHAM* *CRACK* *WAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!*
>you get knocked head over heels. when you finally get up, you realize your beloved horn is
now jammed right between mungo’s eyes
>he simply stands there, not moving
>the pain in your head is mind-numbing. you can’t help but howl and screech in pain
>stumbling over to mungo, you smack him on the nose with your hoofsie.
>”YU DUMMY FWUFFY! YU TAKE HOWN! YU KILL BABBEHS! YU KILL MAWES! YU GIFF WONG SWEEPIES TO
ALMOST ALL FWUFFIES IN HEWD!”
>mungo promptly falls over dead, landing on top of you
>unable to move his massive bulk, you smother to death
>fuck you, mungo.
How about a story where two Fluffy herds fight and one of them has a Giant Fluffy who tries to do things right but it ends up fucking up everything and killing itself thanks to it's size.
up.
shemale
>be Doctor Eric Octavius
>your asshole co-workers call you Doctor Octopus
>someday… someday they’ll pay! THEY’LL ALL PAY!
>not now, though. right now you’re working for Hasbio researching the effects of environment
on fluffies
>your current project involves a group of six mares
>they’re kept comfortable, well-fed, cleaned. they’re allowed to watch FluffyTV, even BABIES!
>this is intentional, of course. you’re studying them over a period of a year to see how they
react to wanting foals but not having a stallion around
>as expected, they get pretty whiny.
>”huuuhuuuuhuuu wan babehs…”
>”why meanie hooman no giff babehs?”
>it’s ten months into the experiment
>they whine like this every. fucking. day.
>but you tolerate it… your generous salary sees to that.
>still grates on your nerves sometimes, though
>thank god for iPods.
>walk into the lab the first day of the 11th month
>hear an odd sound coming from the mares’ stable
>”enf enf enf”
>oh, what the fuck… if that idiot Melvin from logistics fucked up your 10 month
experiment…
>one, two, three, four, five, six… six fluffies. same six colors for easy identification.
red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple
>seems the purple one is mouthing the red one.
>the other four are… lined up? their tails are raised in the air, apparently anticipating
“special hugs”.
>what the jesus fuck.
>”WHAT IS THIS SHIT!?” you bellow
>the mares all crap themselves and start running around in circles. the purple one is also
covered in the shit sprayed on it from the red one
>what the fuck… did it go gay on you? pretending to be a male?
>you scoop up purple and wash her off in the sink. she complains, of course
>”no wike wawa! too cowd! wawa bad fo fwuffies! hewp! hewp!”
>”Quiet, you.”
>putting her on an examination table, you deftly trim the fluff from around her teats, groin,
anus, vagina, penis…
>wait, what?
>”wet fwuffy up! no wike! wahhhhhhhh!”
>”Shut the fuck up! God!”
>you finally snap a rubberband over its mouth to quiet it down
>what the hell is this?
>the fluffy’s genitals have… changed. the vaginal opening is still there but the clitoris
has… grown… into a rudimentary penis
>the flaps of the vagina seem to have grown testicles in them
>flick one of the labia with your finger. the fluffy screams.
>”eeeeeeeeeee! no huwt speshal pwace!”
>yep. it’s got balls, all right
>you de-poop the fluffy - much to its dismay - and angrily carry it to an elevator. head up to
R & D
>where’s that asshole, Weston.
>”Weston!”
>a few researchers look up from their respective tables. you notice one is building a fluffy
manticore. another a fluffy miniature mammoth.
>a nearby researcher mutters “in his office”, pointing down the row of desks
>you stomp into Weston’s office, slamming the door behind you
>”no wike woud noise!”
>”SHADDUP! WESTON! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!”
>you slam the fluffy on his desk upside-down, exposing its multiple genitals
>”Hermaphrodite?”
>”Well it sure as shit didn’t start out that way! I’m supposed to be doing a study on the
psychological effects of non-breeding on mares! Not on genetic mutations!”
>”Well, they’re all technically genetic mutations…”
>”Stow that shit! The time I’ve wasted…”
>”Look, you’re still getting paid…”
>”Not the point!”
>”Well, you’ve still made a fascinating discovery - look at it that way.”
>he’s right… this will probably get you into Popular Science and Fluff Fancy magazines. Maybe a guest shot on Animal Planet…
>”All I want to know is… HOW?”
>”*sigh* I told those assholes not to use frog DNA. No reason for it, I said. They’ll never jump like that, I said.”
>all you can do is facepalm and head back down to your lab.
>report your findings.
>maybe for your next experiment you can monitor the effects of inserting various-sized objects into fluffy anuses…
Hey, man, are Alienware PC's a rip off, or are they decent? I can't shake the feeling that they are overpriced crap, but it feels like they weren't always thus. What do you think?
They used to be solid until they got bought out by Dell. I don't trust the quality of their hardware any more. You're better off building your own (plus it's cheaper)
Is it natural for fluffy ponies to reproduce asexually at an unnatural rate? Or for them to be able to operate heavy machinery?
Fluffies can't reproduce asexually. And, fortunately…
hm… that just gave me an idea for a story.
Thanks, bro!
Oh, and no… they can't operate heavy machinery. They get caught inside and torn apart… which is funny as hell but messy and expensive.
I have a Dethklok style blood fountain, but I'm having a hard time affording good blood. Would fluffy pony blood work, or is it going to gum up my fountain?
It would work just fine. I recommend using shoving a roto-rooter up their ass and liquifying them from the inside, then squeezing the liquid into a bucket. Have fun!
WHAT THE HELL MAN WHY IS TWOFACETOO BACK
He never left.
Simple solution: troll him every chance you get. Use anonymous account or make multiple sock puppet accounts, solely for the purpose of fucking with him.
And if you want to get him permanantly removed, you can complain to the site admins for him uploading material that doesn't belong to him (like my own stories he uploaded from Poninooru).
Example:
http://www.fluffybooru.org/post/view/731#search=user_id%3D34
In this post he even says "If you want to complain, complain to Ponibooru" which doesn't make any sense since he's the one uploading the stories. I never gave him permission to do so. So maybe there's a technicality you can use against him.
Illegal fluffy fights, like cock fighting but with more crying ,stupidity and blood. Clearly they cant do much harm as is, so like cock fighting razors attached to their legs, sharpened horns, teeth. Practically anything to give said fluffy an edge in killing its opponent.
It's been done.
So what would you do if a fluffy got a firearm, and knew how to use it?
Get a bigger gun.
I am alive! And I only had to read through 19 pages of archives, not 300 like last time! By the way, does the slutty goth chick actually work in your computer shop and/or give you blowjobs?
No on both, she's just based on a player in my D & D group.
His French is terrible
I guess you don't get the joke, then.
glue trap
>be a farmer in Maryland
>mostly corn, but also some sugar beets, alfalfa and peas
>you raise some chickens and cattle as well for milk, eggs and meat
>all in all you manage to squeak out a living.
>until the goddammed fluffy ponies came
>rumor has it they were released on purpose by PETA before Hasbio could neuter them
>between the ferals and people dumping their fluffies after getting tired of them, the
population exploded
>Maryland has been hit the hardest since they originated in Washington D.C.
>the temperature here is perfect for them most of the year
>and despite putting up fences and blockades, the little bastards find a way to get through
>last month they all but decimated your pea plants. true, their shit is a great fertilizer but
that won’t help you this season. you lost thousands of dollars from them eating your crop.
>you’ve just hired a local kid to help control the population
>a little dumb, but energetic. named Eric.
>today’s his first day. have to see how long he lasts.
>at least he’s on time… 8am Saturday morning
>”Hi, Mr. Forman.”
>”Morning, Eric. Have much homework to do?”
>”Just have to study for a history test.”
>”Well, we’ll try to get you home by mid-afternoon so you can study and still have tomorrow to
relax.”
>”Thanks.”
>”All right… I found a break in the fence near the barn so I put out some glue traps. Go in
the barn and see what we caught. If they’re still alive, kill ‘em and put ‘em in a plastic
trash bag. We’ll burn the bodies later.”
>”Um… ok…”
>he wanders into the barn. should be empty since the cows are out in the pasture.
>a few minutes later, the kid comes wandering up to you
>”Ummmm…”
>”Yes, Eric.”
>”Well, there’s a dead mouse and a dead rat…”
>”Bag ‘em?”
>”Well, yeah, but…”
>”How many fluffy ponies?”
>”Ten.”
>”Christ jesus. Twice as many as last week. Bag ‘em?”
>”Ummm… no… most of them are still alive.”
>”Kill them.”
>”But…”
>yeah, you figured you were going to have this conversation.
>wiping the motor oil from your hands, you carefully secure the parts from the tractor you
were working on
>”All right. Come with me.”
>you lead the kid into the barn. sure enough, the babbling and crying of fluffy ponies echo
through the empty building
>”How’s your math, kid?”
>”Not my best subject.”
>”That’s okay. Just follow along. A fluffy pony mare has a gestation period of three weeks…”
>”Gestation?”
>”Pregnancy.”
>”Oh.”
>”Give them a week or two between pregnancies, that means they could have as many as ten
broods a year. Usually only one or two foals but I’ve seen them with broods as big as five or
six. So average four foals ten times a year - that’s 40 foals.”
>”Wow.”
>”Wait. It gets better. If half of them are females, they can be impregnated by the age of
three months. That means inside of a year, twenty foals can they themselves have around 20 -
30 foals of their own. Say 25. So 40 times 25?”
>”Uhhhh… carry the two… oy my god. That’s a thousand!”
>”Right. The potential for an average of 1000 fluffies inside of one year from one fluffy
mare. These herds have been getting bigger… they’ve gone from a dozen to fifty or sixty.
Same thing… if half of them, say 25, have foals every month or so and those foals get
knocked up after the age of three months…”
>”Twenty five thousand fluffies.”
>”Right. Granted, the law of averages might not be quite that high, but goddam, that short
gestation period is the killer. With their size and appetites, they can devastate a farm or
garden. Even rabbits have a gestation of a month. These fuckers breed even faster. Pardon my
French.”
>”Why are they so hungry?”
>”Apparently the little shits have an unusually high metabolism. They burn food quickly and
are usually hungry. Something to do with making them more resistant to diseases.”
>look in one of the cow paddocks… sure enough, three glue traps with a brightly-colored pony
stuck to each. one of them has flipped on its back and is sobbing. another has glued its chin
to the trap. the last one thrashes its legs desperately trying to get free.
>”I just… I don’t know how…”
>”To kill ‘em? Okay.”
>you stomp on the neck of the one with its chin glued to the trap. it dies instantly.
>”Problem solved.”
>as you start to walk away, the kid speaks up again.
>”But… but… they’re… intelligent…”
>”So are mice and rats. But we kill them.”
>”But… the fluffies talk…”
>”All right, sit down, kid. Listen.”
>you each grab a 5 gallon bucket and sit down.
>”Australia. Mid 1800’s. Rabbits were introduced and devastated the environment. Killed trees
by ringbarking them, caused erosion by eating all the plants and leaving the topsoil to get
washed away.”
>”Okay…”
>Feral pigs in Texas. So many that you can shoot as many as you want by any method, no limit.
A long as you have a hunting license and permission of the landowner.”
>”Yeah, I saw that on Animal Planet.”
>”Boa constrictors and pythons. Between pets being released into the wild plus getting loose
from homes being destroyed by hurricanes, they’re devastating the Florida Everglades. Birds,
bird eggs, shit… they eat just about anything, even deer and alligators. Pardon my French.”
>”But…”
>These here fluffy ponies… they might be as smart as a human child and can talk, but some
dog breeds are just about as smart. Maybe smarter. And yeah… their crap makes good
fertilizer but you gotta wait till the next harvest to even take advantage of it.”
>”But…”
>”They’re an invasive species, kid. They may not have started out that way but that’s what
they become. Shit… there’s even been evidence of them attacking humans. Pardon my French.”
>”Humans? But how…”
>”Well, this one gang figured out that people carrying grocery bags had food in them… so
they’d have a dark-colored fluffy hide and trip them coming down some steps.”
>”Oh my god…”
>”A couple months ago a couple of them attacked a sleeping baby at a park while its father had
his back turned.”
>”Jesus…”
>”Not all of them are like that, but some of these little bastards get bitter… turn mean…”
>you stand up and step on the neck of the struggling fluffy in the glue trap.
>”And you gotta do what you gotta do.”
>you roughly flip over the last fluffy onto its feet
>”Tank yu, mistah… can haff nummies?”
>you answer with a boot to its neck
>”If you can’t handle the job I understand… but either way tell me now. I need to know if I
have to hire someone else.”
>”No, no… it’s okay… I can do this.”
>you stand back and watch as the kid goes from paddock to paddock. he pulls a glue trap with
two chirping foals stuck to it
>you nod to Eric as he looks at you and promptly stomps on them
>”Keep up the good work. I gotta finish that tractor’s gas filter.”
>Eric nods to you and continues his work. you hear the occasional *squeak* *huuhuuhuu* or
*OWIES!*
>your wife comes out with some fresh iced tea. god knows you need it… hot as a bastard
today.
>”How’s it going with the new boy, John?”
>”He was a little hesitant but I spread it on a little thick and that worked.”
>”Oh, christ, John… what’d you tell him?”
>”The truth! These little pricks are an invasive species! Of course, I may have exaggerated
how dangerous they can be to humans…”
>”Well, as long as it got him to do the job.”
>”Yeah… I just hope to christ they don’t actually get that dangerous. If they do… we’re
all fucked. Pardon my French.”
In honor of all the bullshit and drama in the comments board, how about a story showing fluffies exactly as an invasive pest. Crowding out squirrels, mice, and various other low chain animals from food and shelter so much to the point that the ecosystem aroun them starts to collapse or fall apart.
Up.
No comments:
Post a Comment